Ahh, myspace. I couldn't resist doing a page about this site. By the image above it would seem I am about to unleash of fury of ranting on the website, but I'm not. In fact I love the site. It lets people stay in touch with friends from high school and college after they graduate. It also lets people make new friends and possibly find their soul mate. The site itself doesn't piss me off. What really makes me go insane is the people who use myspace.

First I am going to let off a little steam with the parents and government groups who are freaking out about child molesters going after kids using this site. Of course they are going to use this site because lazy ass parents don't know how to raise their children and teach them to be aware of the bad people on the internet. They don't watch what their kids do and the kids aren't being taught anything so they think "This guy seems nice I'll add him even though he is about 20 years older than me." To keep sexual predators away from the kids teach them not to talk to people they don't know. Dumbasses.

Next I am going to go nuts on the rest of the myspace users. First, quite doing at that stupid chain mail bulletin bullshit. "Repost this within 2 minutes and you'll get a call from your loved one tonight. Repost this within 90 seconds or you will have a bad love life for ten years." How about repost this at all and I'm going to kick your ass. The only bulletins that should be reposted are the ones that have jokes or contain information for a party, concert, and things of that nature. Not ones that involve having a good love life and bullshit of that nature.

The second thing that bothers me is the people with about ,oh, a billion friends. THEY DON'T REALLY LIKE YOU. THE NUMBER OF FRIENDS DOESN'T EQUAL HOW COOL YOU ARE. These people drive me crazy. If you don't know a person on your friends list personally or you don't talk to them on myspace frequently, then get them off of there. The only exceptions are tv shows, bands, comedians, and other "users" of that sort. People thinking that the more myspace friends they have the cooler they are make me want to slit my wrists at night. In fact I have developed a formula to determine how cool you really are, and here it is. f /(n1.5) where f = the number of friends on your myspace and n = the number of those friends you don't know. After you get the number for your coolness it is easy to figure out how cool you are. The higher the number, the cooler you are. so if you get 36 and your friend gets 6, you are 6 times as cool as your friend. Another way to determine your coolness is to simply look at how many real, true friends you have and to get rid of your myspace if you have one. This is by far the coolest method but nobody will really get rid of their myspace.

Once people learn these easy steps to using myspace, it will be a much better site. To recap the steps: 1. Teach children about predators. 2. Stop the chain mail. 3. Use the formula f / (n1.5) to determine your coolness, not the number of myspace friends you have.

And because I know you want to know it, here is my myspace profile.

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